Typing, chaos, my shitty hand, and fml…

Typing, chaos, my shitty hand, and fml…

I used to be able to type and mouse like a normal person. Thanks to the SFMC, this is no longer the case. I could detail the experience by talking about the gradual devolution of my dexterity and functionality but I doubt it’s anything novel. We all have our issues.

When I need to use a keyboard, I need to stare at it. That means I don’t see the unfurling of on-screen words, the real-time missed letters, and the idiocies of autocorrect until I go to review whatever it is I wrote. We tend to be snowblind to our own mistakes and sometimes exhaustion or desperation can mask rational thought. Therein lies a kernel of the problem: obsess about the construction of a statement and you might miss the big picture on content. I just did. FML.

This isn’t a rant about typos in emails so much as it is one about how I obsess over stupid grammatical details while derailing a much larger message I have no place to derail. Why? Because of panic and chaos from multiple inputs. But also just because. Because I want to be independent. Because I want to prove myself, to myself and others. Because I feel like I failed and I want to feel like I can pull myself back up from failure. Because I fear getting worse. And so much more. No matter what I do, I either feel like an idiot or coward.

I’m learning this new environment, but I’m also realizing having crap hands is more than a scientific metaphor. Most of what we all do comes from the mind, not the hands. Ignore the hands. They are what they are. The mind is what we are and we can’t, simply can’t, ignore it.

Transitions are hard. Good luck to all.


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